South Ayrshire Multi Agency Partnership

Information For Young People

Things To Consider

Date/Relationship Rape

This covers being raped on a one-off date and also rape within a boy/girl relationship. Both are more common than people think.

The basic problem is about male attitudes - some males still believe that it is their right to have sex with a girl even if she does not consent. Men can use a range of excuses to try to justify their behaviour such as:

"I'd spent a lot of money on her, I expected something in return."
"She asked me in for a coffee - no way did she just mean coffee."
"She was all over me like a rash - she wanted it."

And the old favourite ....
"She really got me going - I couldn't stop myself."

There is no excuse. No means No.

Cut your risks of date/relationship rape:

• never go off with a guy you have just met.
• on the first few dates stick to public places or double date with friends.
• use your intuition, listen to what your gut feeling is telling you and trust it. If you feel something's not right, get out fast.
• be aware that there are some guys out there who would harm you.
• try to assert yourself and be confident with boys.
• set your own sexual limits and boundaries.
• never let him talk you into doing something you're not ready to do.
• if you are in a relationship and he is treating you badly or making you do anything against your will, try to get out as soon as possible. If you are frightened you can ask for help from friends, family or professionals like Women's Aid (Tel: 01292 266 482 )

Drug Assisted Rape

A lot of coverage has been given to what the media term "drug rape", which is the use of drugs like Rohypnol and GHB to assist with rape. However, you are more likely to be raped or sexually assaulted whilst under the influence of alcohol. You can be given larger measures or cocktails without your knowledge, or encouraged to drink more quickly. This can impair your ability to make decisions or reduce your ability to give or withhold your consent to sexual contact.

Cut your risks of drug rape:

• be aware of your limits when drinking. In most drug rapes the victim is already intoxicated before the drug is administrated.
• never take a drink from someone you don't know well or from someone else's bottle or glass.
• never leave your drink unattended.
• try to observe drinks being poured or bottles opened.
• appoint a sober person from your group of friends and agree that you will take it in turn where at least one person will be an observer for the group.
• if you do feel strange or out of control in any way, never let anyone take you away. Stay with your friends and ask them to call a taxi or your parents.

Remember, the responsibility for rape lies firmly with the perpetrator, no matter how much you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, even if you have taken them yourself.

Internet

Internet safety is now a huge issue. Paedophiles (men who have sex with children or young people) have been known to surf the net, pretending to young girls they are the same age as them, starting on-line friendships with them, gaining personal information and arranging meetings with them.

Cut your risks of internet danger:

• never give out personal details online.
• do not assume people online are who they say they are.
• never agree to meet someone you have met online.
• don't send pictures of yourself or your friends or post them on social network sites.