South Ayrshire Multi Agency Partnership

Information For Women

Myths and Realities

Myth: "Women will react hysterically or tearfully after being raped."
Reality: Women react in a range of ways and can go through a wide range of emotions following the attack. Many women are in shock. This feeling may be so strong that a woman experiences disbelief or denial, refusing to believe that it has happened at all. Or shock may be displayed by crying uncontrollably, laughing or talking continuously or with displays of anger. There is no correct response.

Myth: "I should never have asked him in for a coffee."
Reality: An invitation for coffee is not an invitation for sex. We have the right to invite whom we choose into our home and to be confident that our safety will not be compromised. No man has the right to presume that he can force a woman to have sex under any circumstances.

Myth: "I was really drunk; I"m not really sure what I was doing."
Reality: Taking advantage of a woman who is drunk and unable to consent is rape. Being drunk does not give a man the right to rape you.

Myth: "I just froze. I should have fought more."
Reality: When we are in situations of extreme danger, our bodies will react in a way that it thinks will best protect us. For some of us we will run, scream , fight - but for some, our bodies will freeze and be unable to move. We are not in control of this and it may be that this response will mean that we are less physically injured during the attack.

Myth: "He's my boyfriend, I don't always want to, but he says he needs sex more than I do."
Reality: Many women don't speak about forced or coercive sex in their relationships as it can be very painful to admit that the person you love, who is supposed to love you, is hurting you. If you are experiencing forced or coercive sex from a man you are in a relationship with, your trust is being betrayed. Sexual relationships should always be consenting and loving and should never cause fear or pain.