John and Audrey Vallance at the celebration lunch with Councillor Margaret Toner, and guests
Councillor Margaret Toner, Depute Leader of South Ayrshire Council and Portfolio Holder for Community Services joined a very special couple, Audrey Vallance aged 53 and John Vallance aged 55, for a celebration lunch at the Ellisland Hotel in Ayr, to mark the couples 25 years of fostering children.
Councillor Toner said: "Audrey and John are remarkable people, who for a 25 year period, have opened their home and their hearts, to care for more than 60 foster children, some of who came to stay for only a short period of time and other who stayed permanently.
"They are a very modest couple who passionately care about children and have been happy to do everything they can to help young people who need extra support. They have six children of their own who have played a big part in making foster children welcome.
"When you listen to what they have achieved it is really quite humbling. Audrey and John only agreed to their special anniversary being made public when they were told that it might help other people to volunteer to become foster carers. That is just typical of them, still thinking about children."
Audrey first thought about becoming a foster parent when she heard about fostering from other foster carers at a Mother and Toddler group that she used to attend when her oldest children were very young. Inspired by what she learned Audrey and John took the first steps by applying, they were accepted and started to foster.
Over the years they have fostered many children, some for a very short period of time and others for longer. In addition they have fostered children with special needs.
Speaking on behalf of her and her husband Audrey said: "I was very surprised to be invited to a celebration lunch, to be thanked for doing something that you love doing that at the same time helps others is amazing.
"Every child we have fostered has had different needs, but they all get treated exactly the same as my own children. I firmly believe that children need boundaries, they make them feel safe and secure and help them to interact well within a family and their community.
"I have often been asked how you stop yourself becoming attached to the children. Well the simple answer is that you don’t. When children we have fostered leave I often cry, but I know that the children are either going to be reunited with their parents or carers or be adopted, and that is very rewarding.
"Some people seem to be under the misapprehension that children who go into foster care are there because they have done something wrong, this is not the case. Children come into foster care for many reasons, it could be that they only have one parent who has to go into hospital and there is nobody else to look after them. Perhaps they have special needs and they are being fostered to give their parents or carers some respite. All families go through difficult times and it can be that placing a child elsewhere until these are sorted out is the best thing for the child and for the family.
"Fostering is hard work, it is challenging and it can be very emotional, but most important of all it is worthwhile for the children you foster. Over the years fostering has changed. There are now more supports in place. As well as the foster children having a Social worker, we had our own Social Worker, called a Link Worker, who not only supported us but also our own children."
Audrey and John will not be fostering any more children, however Audrey is still going to helping children through her work as a member of the Fostering and Adoption Panel. The Panel meets regularly to consider reports on people who have been recommended as foster carers or those who have been recommended for adoption. The Panel members then make decisions about where children will be placed for adoption.
Anyone who would like further information about becoming a foster carer should contact the Council’s Fostering and Adoption Team on telephone number 01292 267675.